We Love To Live

Scattered Thoughts about My Sisters

2012-01-29T21:09:00.001-07:00

We attended church in my parents' ward today to hear my sweet sister Lindsay speak. (She's the really cute one with the shortest, darkest hair). In 10 short days she's headed off on a grand adventure. She'll be serving an LDS Mission in New York City, sharing the gospel with complete strangers totally across the country from us. And speaking Spanish, no less. She'll be amazing! As I've been reflecting on this life-changing event for her I've come to the realization that my family is incredible.

Almost every Sunday when I was a teenager, we would gather around the piano while Mom played and sing together. Sometimes friends would join us, and as the younger girls grew up they chimed in, too. As we've gotten older and moved out to go to college or get married (or both), those singing sessions became less and less frequent. But we try to sneak in some sister-singing-time whenever we're all together. Our interests are pretty varied, but this is something we all love to do together. While we're not ready to go on tour quite yet, I love this tradition.

As we were singing this afternoon several thoughts suddenly hit me:

** I won't be seeing Lindsay again for 18 months. She's been at USU and we've been able to see her often since moving to Logan. She's our best babysitter EVER! I will miss her.

**Our whole family will not be together for 2 1/2 years. Miss Katie (the long-haired beauty in between Lindsay and my Dad) will go on a mission in a little over a year. So she and Lindsay will overlap for about 6 months.

**Most of my sisters (there are 5 girls total) have seemed quite a lot younger than me for most of their lives. But now we're all {mostly} adults. I am thoroughly enjoying seeing them grow up. They are amazing women, doing fantastic things. As the Big Sis, that makes me extremely proud. I can't wait to see what paths they take, what adventures they go on and who they become in the future.

**I hope that we'll remain close, no matter where we all end up.

**I am seriously blessed in the family department. My parents are incredible, talented, loving, fun and patient. I admire and love them.

I doubt that my brother reads this blog, but I still feel a little guilty leaving him out. (Let's face it, though, with 5 older sisters the kid has to feel left out fairly often...) There is quite an age range in our family (nearly 17 years between me and my little brother). I was halfway through my senior year in high school when little David was born. And I hated taking him anywhere by myself, not because he was annoying, but because people always assumed he was my baby. Didn't really like that. But he's developing into a pretty awesome kid himself. He does need a haircut, though. (Sorry, Bro. It's true)

Thank you to my parents for being wonderful, and for teaching us to love each other. Thank you siblings for your friendship and for being fun, supportive and silly.

I love you all.

And Lindsay, don't forget to write.

Happenings

2012-01-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

I ran across several photos I didn't want to forget. So here they are in no particular order:

The kids helped me make a big batch of noodles for chicken noodle soup a couple of weeks ago. Ethan did most of the lever-turning on the pasta maker. I had flashbacks to my own childhood and making noodles with my Dad as I found myself uttering the same phrase he said repeatedly when it was my turn to be the handle-turner: "Other direction, please...". (For some reason it's more comfortable to turn the handle the wrong way. Unfortunately that doesn't make any pasta.)

Ellie received this fabric for her birthday in order to sew a new bedspread for her new room. We finally finished that project a couple of weeks ago. She did almost all of the sewing while I pinned and pressed. I did the (very very simple) binding and she tied the quilt. Needless to say she is delighted with the outcome and it looks darling in her new purple bedroom.

We spent some time on the golf course trail a couple of weekends ago.

( That's Ellie's "old lady" impression above)

Ethan and his Daddy naturally spent a lot of time throwing rocks in the water.

Love those eyelashes and that hair!

My Ellie is growing up.

One morning Ellie spent hours putting together a "real life Angry Birds game". She made birds out of red pompoms, complete with googly eyes and hand-colored orange beaks. The pigs are green pompoms and the wooden blocks are from the set Santa made for us a few years ago. These two had a blast knocking the tower down over and over. No slingshots were involved and the birds were too light to do any damage so it was Ethan's job to knock the tower down after Ellie threw all the birds.

Our cute Ethan loves hats. He got this one from his cousin Phoenix for Christmas. Darling!

Snowshoeing...Finally!

2012-01-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

Once we decided to move to Logan, I began anticipating the multiple feet of snow and horrible blizzard conditions winter would bring. We need time outside frequently, so I dreamed of taking a snowshoeing trip every weekend. So far the weather has been a bit of a let-down. (Though, really I haven't minded all that much...) We went snowshoeing once in December and since then have only had mucky walks and visits to the paved River Trail.

Ethan received snowshoes for Christmas (the rest of us already own some) and after several days of rain in the valley and snow farther up the mountain, we were finally able to try them out this weekend.

He took a few minutes to adjust to taking "big steps", and wanted to hold a hand during steep sections, but overall Ethan did a lot of hiking on his own.

He was pretty proud of himself.

It was a gorgeous sunshiny day, and the sky was more blue than we've seen in weeks. Sometimes during the inversion time-of-year I forget how rejuvenated I am by spending time in nature. Our whole family is that way. The kids can be bickering and short-tempered (and, let's face it, I get that way too), but if we head outside for a while happiness returns quickly.

"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,

places to play in and pray in,

where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul."

John Muir

We tromped around near the summit of Logan Canyon intending to try a trail that has been on my list for a while. Everything was covered in snow so we were unable to be sure we were in the right place. But the scenery was stunning, the sunshine delightful and according to the kiddos the snow tasted delicious.

Ethan got comfortable enough with the snowshoes that every few steps he'd bend down and grab a handful of snow to munch as he trudged along. (Yes, we have talked to the kids about only eating "clean" snow).

We were mostly alone on the mountain, aside from some snowmobiles in the distance.

Ellie has always been a happy hiker and we are so grateful that she has passed that joy onto her little brother. I adore spending time with my family this way. The closeness and fun we experience on these outings is different than anything else we do. Talking is easier, beauty is near and God seems closer. I will remember forever our delight, our jokes and the happiness I feel all the way down to my slightly-cold toes.

Christmas Memories

2012-01-09T16:35:00.001-07:00

I realized this morning that I had not done any updates about our Christmas festivities. So, here are the things I want to remember about Christmas 2011. Jason and I fell in love with the idea of cutting down our our Christmas tree. We decided it would become a wonderful family tradition and we'd look forward to it every year. We got the permit, bundled up and snowshoed into the great white wilderness. As it turns out, finding the perfect tree is easier said than done. After a lot of trudging about with a heavy 3 year old strapped to my back I was excited to find a tree that looked fine. Jason cut it down and carried it to our van.

We wrapped it up and made the 2 hour drive home. Once we arrived at home, Jason spent a lot of time grafting in branches where the tree looked sparse. He left to run an errand while I was putting the lights on the tree. I was so disappointed that it was difficult to hold back tears. This was NOT the tree I'd envisioned! (Honestly, it looks much better in that photo than it did in our house!)

The needles were all at the ends of the branches, so there was nothing to wrap the lights around. I'm not generally one to complain, but I was having a hard time with this. Jason arrived home quickly and as soon as I saw him I burst into tears, "I don't like our tree!". I cried for a minute (how dumb is that? But apparently the ideal Christmas tree means a lot to me...), then we decided to make the best of it and just start hanging ornaments. The poor scrawny tree could not support them and I was soon in tears again. We eventually went to our backup artificial tree and I used the branches from the fresh tree to make garlands to decorate the house. It wasn't a total waste!

Along with the Tree-Cutting Disaster we also had a lot of fun (and I didn't even cry selfishly once!).

Ice Skating:

We went with a group of homeschool friends and had so much fun! The kids picked up a lot and gained a lot of confidence by the end of the session. We look forward to going again several times before the winter is over.

Ellie and were both able to sing in choirs this year. I have missed singing with a group and have really enjoyed my time with the Logan Towne Singers (rehearsals just started again for the new year and I love it!). Ellie sang with the Joyful Noise Homeschool Choir. They did a Les Miserables medley and Miss Ellie sang a solo. She did such a fantastic job and has really come a long way in her ability to perform in front of an audience.

Click here to watch the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rxiCHHXPsk

Ellie as Young Cosette

Ellie and I both had performances on the same night, so we enjoyed dinner out (Indian food is our family favorite at the moment) before the shows.

Naturally we decorated cookies and watched Christmas movies.

I enjoyed an early morning trip to the beautiful Logan temple with my dear sister Lindsay (in the well-below-freezing weather).

I'm not sure what was happening here, but had to include the photo. That Ethan is such a ham lately!

We enjoyed an extended stay "down south" visiting family. I loved having down time with both sides of the family with plenty of time to catch up, that's definitely harder to do now that we live a bit farther away.

A month or so before Christmas, Ethan asked Grandpa Kindlespire if he would make "hippo pancakes". None of us had any idea where he got the idea or what he was expecting. But after much contemplation my dad came up with this:

Pretty amazing! Ethan was very pleased. I can't wait to hear what he asks for next time...get ready Grandpa!

We enjoyed a quiet New Years Eve at home. Ellie supplied the decorations. We watched home videos from the previous year, made our Hillman family goals for the coming year, ate some yummy food and sent the kids to bed at 7:30. I wonder how long we'll be able to get away with counting down til 7:00?

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND BEST WISHES FOR 2012!

Goals 2012

2012-01-03T16:06:00.000-07:00

I am feeling much better about our struggles and life in general today. Thank you for the kind words and support, they mean a lot to me.

I love the time for introspection at the beginning of each year. I am a big fan of list-making and goal-setting, and I always look forward to this time of year as a fresh start. It's a time to reassess and gain traction in life and make sure I'm on the path I want to be on. I have decided to handle my goals for the new year differently than I have in the past. Rather than listing several goals to work on at once, I am going to work on twelve 30-day Challenges, one each month (obviously). The hope is that I make most of these into a habit in 30 days and continue to include them in my schedule once the challenge is over.

These may be subject to change, but for now the plan is as follows:

Fitness:: Exercise 5 days/week (I used to be excellent at this, but over the past month or so I'm completely off track. So this challenge is first up. So far, so good!)

Relationships:: write one thank you/ love note every day for a month

Organize:: Organize one area of the house (small areas!) each day for a month

Drink 8 glasses of water and do sit-ups every day for a month

Create:: Make something every day (knit, sew, bake, random projects I've been meaning to get to, etc.)

Take a photo every day for a month and post it here.

Read a famous short story every day for a month ( any suggestions for collections I should read?)

30 Days of more intentional play with the kids (ideas here)

Read the Book of Mormon in 30 Days

Improve something in the yard every day for a month (our yard is going to be a huge project this spring!)

Marriage:: focus on my sweet husband and strengthening our relationship for a month (obviously this in on-going but I look forward to making that the primary focus for one month.)

Music:: Play the piano every day for a month. Pick a "just for fun" piece and perfect it.

I am really looking forward to these challenges and to the added focus I'll be able to give them by working on them one at a time. Anyone care to join me?

Our family put together a 2012 Bucket List of sorts on New Years' Eve. Here is the list:

Ellie: Children's choir
plant a garden
Family overnight hike
Read the whole Book of Mormon together
Ethan potty trained (please?)
Finish Ellie's bedroom
Build a " Big Magnificent Snowman" ("He will be real and Scary!"--Ethan)
Get our home ready for foster placements
Ellie baptized
Go to SEA WORLD!
Put a light/cozy spot in Ethan's closet (Ellie has one in her new room)
Visit a temple we've never been to
See a whale
Go to the Treehouse Museum a lot (Thanks Mom and Dad Hillman for the membership for Christmas!)
Visit a beach
Go on 10 new hikes
Try one new food each month
Camp at Bear Lake
Play with dolphins (that's Ethan's addition...not sure how we'll make that happen. Do you think he'll count Sea World?)
Visit Hardware Ranch
Finish Ellie's quilt for her new bedroom
New carpet in the basement (coming tomorrow. Yay!)
Make a trash pick-up kit for hikes.
Summer of Service
Add to our family
Send birthday cards/make calls for extended family birthdays
Read the Percy Jackson books together
Rotate 72 Hour Kits
Harvest garden and preserve the homegrown goodness
Make our front flowerbeds beautiful

Whew! That should keep us busy for a while!

Best wishes for the new year, and good luck on accomplishing your goals!

One of Those Days

2012-01-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

I don't often talk about our infertility struggles. It's not an easy topic to discuss as it's very personal and I have a hard time imagining anyone would really want to hear me complain about it. So most of my posts are positive and upbeat. I generally just brag about our adorable children or my amazing husband. And for the most part I don't let myself dwell on the fact that we'll never have another biological child. I am incredibly blessed, and I realize that.

But today is just one of those days. I have talked to several friends/relatives/neighbors/complete strangers this week who are expecting babies (and I really am thrilled for you friends/relatives/neighbors and strangers, please don't take this the wrong way!). It seems like literally everyone we know either just had a baby or is about to. (Logically, I know this is not true.) I'm having baby-jealousy issues. At times I feel like infertility is a punishment for not being patient enough with the children I do have. I am longing for a child I don't have; a feeling that is very difficult to explain. I know our family is not complete but have no way of knowing when/how/if a child will join us.

We are getting ready to accept foster placements again. This is a decision I am both excited and anxious about. Am I ready to do this again? Or this? I'm not sure my heart can handle another heartbreak like that.

Rather than dwelling in this hum-drum state, I need to count my blessings. Here are two big ones:

{on an nature walk with my little crazies. They decided to practice their hoity-toity faces for some reason}

These kiddos are miracles. I try to remember that every day. Why is it that I can't always be content with these two? What is it that makes me so heartbroken when I need only look into their grubby faces to know I am incredibly blessed by a loving Father in Heaven? We have known so many incredible couples who hope and pray and long for one child. And I have TWO!

At times I am overwhelmed by the many ways I have been blessed throughout my life. I have an incredible husband, a beautiful warm home, the blessing to stay home with my children (AND be their "teacher"!) and soak up many joyful moments with them each day. I have a loving family, amazing parents and parents-in-law. Supportive and fun siblings and siblings-in-law. I have no right to feel sorry for myself, to wallow in thoughts of what I don't have.

So, while I am taking the rest of the evening to think about the year ahead and make some goals, I needed to clear my head and heart of this sorrow. And to remind myself to quit feeling sorry for myself. I adore Marjorie Pay Hinckley and think often of these words:

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to

laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I don't know what is in store for our family. But as I look back and see how my life has always turned out better than I could have planned, I have faith that the future will be fantastic.

Thank you for listening to my rants, patiently letting me steal your babies for a few moments of snuggle time and allowing me to climb out of the self-pity pit I fell into this afternoon.

Life is good, God is great, and I am happy.

**And now, back to our regular program of cheerful updates on our family, complete with many exclamation points!**

Mr. Mischief

2011-12-23T10:49:00.001-07:00

Ethan has been getting into EVERYTHING lately: drawing with markers on the couch, on his face (Thanks to his Aunt Nikki, the sharpie tattoo expert, he was trying to give himself a turtle tattoo on his cheek), pouring half a container of dish soap into the bathtub, cutting our mattress with scissors, etc.

Ellie was at her piano lesson earlier this week and Ethan was playing quietly so I decided to get online quickly to order our annual Hillman family Christmas movie tickets. I was not gone long, but when I came back upstairs I found Ethan sitting at the piano taking pictures of himself with my brand new camera. Ugh! There were about 30 pictures total, but here are our favorites:

The thing that makes these extra-hilarious is that he's wearing Ellie's fake glasses. And my all-time favorite:

This kid can certainly keep us on our toes!

American West Heritage Center

2011-12-16T16:00:00.001-07:00

Visiting the American West Heritage Center has been on our Logan to-do list for a long time. We finally went on Saturday for their Frontier Christmas Festival. We had a blast! Ellie is still in the midst of her frontier-life obsession and loved all the details of the houses, the blacksmith shop and the different stores we visited.

We watched the blacksmith make a tiny horseshoe and then he gave each of the families there one to take home. Ellie was smitten with the thing and insisted that we make it into an ornament for our Christmas tree. We frosted gingerbread cookies and made popcorn/cranberry garlands, and we chatted with the Woodsmith.

We thoroughly enjoyed the chocolate dipping table. Yes, that was a hit (as evidenced by Ellie's face above).

There were very few animals, but Ethan loved them nonetheless. He and this goat became friends quickly. "He wikes me, Mama!" Ethan proclaimed. I'm pretty sure the goat was just trying to get Ethan's chocolate-covered cinnamon bear, but didn't say anything to disrupt their moment.

We had our most successful visit with Santa Claus ever:

Santa and Mrs. Claus were not busy at all, so our little family was able to visit with them for a good 10-15 minutes. Ellie warmed up, and though she wouldn't sit on Santa's lap she did climb right up and snuggle in to Mrs. Claus and talked both of their ears off for several minutes. Ethan wouldn't say a word or even acknowledge the Clauses, but he didn't cry. And once he may have nodded.

Our wagon ride was fun and chilly. I was distracted by the adorable three year old Asian boy sitting next to me. He and Ethan kept looking and each other shyly and smiling a little bit. They seemed to be having a silent communication, "You're a boy. I'm a boy. We're boys, and we're riding on this wagon." Jason and I had a silent communication as well. He said to me with his eyes, "No, Heidi, you may not steal that darling Asian boy. I can tell you want to. And I will not back you up if you do." And my eyes said "Awww...man." I did not steal the child, though I contemplated telling his parents I wanted to. I thought better of it because maybe they wouldn't understand the joke and I might be the cause of an international incident.

We finished off the day at our church Christmas party. We dressed up as figures from the nativity. Ethan is a donkey, Ellie a shepherd and I'm not sure what Jason and I are...he picked out the clothes. Maybe we're shepherds too?

It was a delightful day, and a very welcome break from home improvement projects!

Hippopotamus for Christmas {a retry}

2011-12-16T13:09:00.003-07:00

**Sorry for those of you that watched the first version I posted. I realized after an hour of uploading the video and finally publishing it that I did the wrong one...it was one of the previous takes that didn't work. So, here is the new and improved Hippopotamus song. **

Ethan's new favorite song is Hippopotamus for Christmas. He asks to listen to it several times a day and I love listening to him sing along. As it turns out this is good motivation for him, and I'm not above bribery. A lot of our family and friends don't get to see the silly, loud side of Ethan very often. He's normally very reserved in front of people he doesn't see often. So click here to enjoy our sweet silly boy (and please ignore the issues in the middle of the video, this is the best of three takes).

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Before and After

2011-12-16T10:09:00.001-07:00

My amazing husband has been hard at work since we moved into our new home. He's done countless projects, big and small. Here are some of my favorite before and after photos:

Office Before:

Originally we had a kitchenette in the corner of our family room. Jason removed everything, including the disgustingly moldy drywall and built a desk.

{close-up of where the sink was}

Isn't that MUCH better? I love this area and we use it every day for school, crafts and other projects.

Dining Room Beams

When we first moved in these beams in our dining area/kitchen were really sloppy, and insulation was falling down from the attic constantly.

Jason designed and built brackets for the end of the beams.

They are not quite done, but I think they look fantastic and are a huge improvement over what was there before.

In an unused corner of the family room, Jason built this gorgeous bookshelf. I adore it, it makes me very happy every time I walk by.

My other favorite spots in the house are the fireplace and the photo shelf in our living room:

The long project to-do list has been overwhelming, but is slowly getting smaller. How grateful I am for an amazingly talented husband who can fix or build anything. And now that so many of these things are done, we'd love to have you stop by for a visit!

My Birthday--by Ellie

2011-12-11T18:54:00.003-07:00

Ellie requested manicures and pedicures as part of her birthday festivities. Ethan insisted on participating as well. Please don't tell me this will scar him for life, our neighbors in our apartment complex (where we were living at the time) were very certain I had just wrecked his entire future and that he would be forever "confused". I don't want to hear it.

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We had a "tea party" with Grandmas and Fancy Aunt Lindsay after which Ellie told me I was the "best mom EVER!"

**Editor's Note** Ellie wrote the following:

my seventh birthday was the best day in my whole life. well maybe not my whole life but its one of them. i got a dwarf hat and a lot of cloth for a new bedspread and a watch from my parents and a sewing box from grandma kindlespire a scrapbook from grandma hillman and a lamp a clock\radio\cd player from grandma and grandpa kimball.

Her list of favorites, as of today:

Favorite color: hot pink and light purple

Favorite thing to do: do puppet shows with mom and ethan

Favorite book: the tale of despereaux

Favorite move: white christmas

Favorite treat: fudge

Favorite toy: dollhouse

Favorite snack: orange

Favorite subject in school: math

What do you want to be when you grow up: author\illustrator

Favorite restaurant: indian oven

Favorite thing to do outside: build fairy houses

Coziest thing you can think of: my bed

Happiest thing you can think of: my doll pink baby

Fanciest thing you can think of: tea partys

Favorite thing to do with mom: read

Favorite thing to do with dad: read

Favorite thing to do with Ethan: watch shows with him

Favorite food: razzleberry pie.

* * *

Ellie's birthday is September 28th, so this is officially way overdue (as was her actual birth day, come to think of it. But not nearly 2 months...) Ellie has grown and matured so much in the past year. She is such a fun person to be around; silly and sarcastic and always looking to snuggle and giggly.

She loves piano lessons, school, reading and playing with friends.

Most of her friends in our new neighborhood are boys and I find it absolutely hilarious the conversations they have. She has a real knack for wrapping 7 year old boys around her finger. One of these boys rang our doorbell last week, he wanted to see if Ellie could play. As they made their way to our playroom I heard Ellie say, "I have some imaginary clothes for my doll...do you want to see them?" This sweet boy enthusiastically said, " Yes! I do!" What?

We love our sweet seven year old!

Autumn

2011-11-06T20:46:00.003-07:00

We took a walk around the beautiful Logan LDS Temple a couple of weeks ago. We have been soaking up every possible moment of the gorgeous fall sunshine in preparation for the long Cache Valley winter (I'm nervous!). I think almost every day of a quote I read recently:

"I cannot endure to waste anything as precious as autumn sunshine by staying in the house. So I spend almost all the daylight hours in the open air."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Our walks lately have been full of leaf collecting, throwing, crunching and stomping.

Ellie wrote this poem earlier in the season, it sums up my feelings exactly:

My Favorite Season

by Ellie Hillman

Leaves are yellow, red and green

Pumpkin seeds are yummy, yummy

Halloween is full of candy

Apple cider hits the spot

Chilly chilly all the while

Fall is my favorite time of all!

I have loved seeing these two form a stronger bond as we've gone through this major change as a family. Our move and job change has been difficult, busy and stressful. But we have grown closer as a family and have been extremely blessed through it all.

(Notice that Ellie has a leaf on her head in this photo. I'm not sure if she knew it was there or not. I just saw it when I cropped the picture. Something about the look on Ethan's face makes me think he put it there...)

Our Done List

2011-10-20T10:21:00.004-06:00

The past few weeks have flown by in a haze of moving, packing/un-packing and new-to-us house projects. We have a huge to-do list and have been slowly whittling it down. Unfortunately, we've also been adding a lot to the list as we discover new problems with the house. I thought it would be good for us to look back and see what we've done over the past little while, rather than focusing on what is left to do (though I'm sure I'll leave at least a couple of things out).

Our Done List:

* Moved out of our Logan apartment and West Jordan home, into the River Heights house.

{As you can see, there is a lot of work to be done in the yard!}

* Cleaned, cleaned, cleaned (got the old house ready for renters, cleaned the apartment to be ready for inspection, and cleaned the new house to make it suitable to live in).

* Took a "Fall Break" from homeschooling during the busiest week of packing/moving/cleaning

*unpacked and organized bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, playroom and living room. (Office/schoolroom/crafts and most of our books are still in boxes)

*Bought and installed all new appliances for the kitchen (the previous owner took the originals with him)

*Began cleaning up the yard. I spent one afternoon pruning trees and have spent a little time each day weeding. It's finally starting to make a difference!

*Fixed a gas leak in the laundry room. Now we can have heat and hot water! (we only had to go without for a little while)

* Jason, our Dads and brothers and our fantastic new neighbors here moved all of our heavy furniture into/out of a moving truck. We have learned that we have very heavy taste in furniture. Hopefully none of our kind helpers have any lasting back problems...

*Got new callings in our ward. Jason and I get to teach the 10 year old primary class. We are thrilled to have a calling together again, it's been a long time! We taught for the first time on Sunday and it was a blast.

* Grouted around the shower in the master bathroom...no more water dripping into the playroom! (That was a sad discovery earlier this week, but it turned out to not be too bad)

* Jason tore out the kitchenette in the basement to convert the area to an office. Behind the cabinets he discovered a huge amount of mold. He replaced the drywall, and is on track to finish our built-in desk and shelves this week.

*Installed smoke detectors

*Re-keyed the locks

*Fixed the garage door opener

*Gave away most of our moving boxes (thanks, KSL classifieds!)

*Fixed some trim and crown molding that was not properly installed.

*Installed outlet covers and wall plates on electrical outlets, light switches etc. (Most of them were missing)

*Jason installed a bazillion hooks in the mud room. We have a hook for every day of the week (literally) plus extras for coats and cleaning supplies. It's fantastic!

* Drilled a hole to install a doorknob on the master bedroom door.

* All this has been interspersed with school, choir, dance, nature walks, birthday parties, lots of bike riding, story time at the darling River Heights library (we LOVE our new "storytime lady"!) and other activities. Ellie's birthday was sandwiched in there somewhere, too.

*Our dear Grandpa Munk passed away from heart failure a little over two weeks ago. His passing was not unexpected, but still heartbreaking. We've talked often with the kids about him and are so grateful for our knowledge of eternal families.

This has been one of the busiest seasons of our lives. We are grateful for the help and support of family, friends and wonderful neighbors, "new and old". I am thankful for my hard-working husband and his seemingly limitless talent for fixing stuff. Our new house and beautiful Cache Valley are starting to feel like home.

Twinkle by Ethan

2011-10-02T20:45:00.002-06:00

Here are a couple videos of Ethan singing his favorite songs. He requests these two songs ("Twinkle Yiddow Staw" and "Raindrops") at bedtime every night. I couldn't get them to work right in the post, but here is a link. Hopefully it works for you!

https://picasaweb.google.com/hillman.heidi/20110727?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCIezhOTX-J_ZVA&feat=directlink

Earwigs and Junk

2011-09-25T20:24:00.004-06:00

Remember the rafts Jason and the kids made last week? Ethan wanted to take them in the bath with him on Monday. He had a blast playing and trying to float his toy animals on them...until 2 earwigs came out from the sticks! He was horrified and screaming (and can you blame him?) until I came to the rescue. The rafts have been downgraded to outside-only playthings.

Our next door neighbors, the Garcias, have become good friends over the past few weeks. We enjoyed some long playdates with them this week. One at our favorite park (Merlin Olsen Park) and one at the Willow Park Zoo. Their family moved this weekend. We're sad to see them go, but very grateful for new friends. They really helped make the kids' transition from our West Jordan neighborhood a much happier one. Ethan and Ellie adore them; Ethan calls them the "Lots of Friends" or "Lots of Kids".

We went on a nature adventure around the boardwalk at Second Dam on Friday. The leaves are starting to change up the canyon and the air was chilly when we first arrived. The kids had a blast finding bugs and looking for fish. We've been here a couple of times before, but always on crowded weekends. It was really nice to enjoy the area without a million people around. Fall is my favorite time of year and we have had gorgeous weather lately!

Here is some good news: we have renters for our West Jordan home! The bad news is that everything fell into place late Friday afternoon and they wanted to move in on Saturday. I have spent a lot of time purging closets and packing over the past few months so we thought we were very ready to throw a few things into boxes and quickly clean the house to have it ready for the renters. We even made plans to meet cousins at the park at 1:00. Yeah, that is NOT how things went.

Our amazing parents and brothers came to help (thank you, thank you!) and a dear neighbor stopped by to check in on us and ended up helping out for several hours. We realized after a couple of hours that we no longer had kids running through the house and when we went to find them they were playing at another fantastic neighbor's house. We are so blessed with incredible family and friends!

We had to move everything into the garage until we close on our house in Logan (this week!) and we literally filled the garage. It looks like an episode of Hoarders in there! I could not believe how much stuff we have. I am feeling overwhelmed and a little disgusted with the excess. I kept thinking about the Little House on the Prairie books and how quickly and simply they were able to pack up their house each time they moved. None of this hours and hours of toil and labor for a dozen people. Pa took apart the stove and put the bedding in the wagon, Ma carefully wrapped the dishes and her China Shepherdess. They all loaded into the wagon and off they went. As for us, we were finally on the road around 5:30 last night. Yuck.

I'm sure it won't be as bad once we're settled into a home (it seriously didn't look like that much stuff when it was in our house!) but I definitely feel the need to simplify even more than we already have. I had a picture here of how our garage looks, but it's too embarrassing to show. Plus I didn't want anyone to think we're advertising for a yard sale.

Ellie requested a trip to Bear Lake before it gets too cold, so we went for an excursion there this afternoon. After much frustration trying to find a place to play (we didn't bring any money and all of the beaches were fee areas) we finally pulled off at the side of the road in an area without No Trespassing signs. Tempers were high and the car was full of grumpy people. It's amazing what a little fresh air and rock-throwing can do! Many, many rocks were tossed and skipped. Jason invented a new game (try to throw a rock and hit it with a second rock before it lands in the water...easier said than done). The kids and I drew in our nature journals and Jason scoured the beach for treasures. He found an old rusty engine, a part from a power pole, and a keychain.

We left the beach a much happier group. We did discover that Ethan gets car sick, however.

Not fun.

In short, I am feeling grateful for so many answered prayers. This has been one of the most stressful times in our lives and I am relieved and humbled to see everything falling in to place.

Playing in the Gutter

2011-09-18T19:58:00.004-06:00

We go on a walk every morning before we have our formal "school" time. We have spent a lot of time this week playing in the gutter on those walks. The kids invented a game they call "stick catching", I'm sure you've played something similar if you've spent much time around water running through a gutter.

Step One: collect rocks and sticks (the rocks are optional and merely serve to keep you entertained while you wait to catch the stick)

Step 2: Drop the stick into a gutter full of water

Step 3: Your sister/brother should be positioned on the other side of a driveway "bridge", waiting to catch the stick.

Step 4: Wait to catch the stick (this may be an excruciatingly long wait if the water is moving slowly)

Step 5: The Catcher becomes the Stick Dropper and vice versa.

Step 6: Switch again (and again, and again...)

I love being able to spend time outdoors with my kiddos every day. Some days are much more formal and we go on a pre-planned hike or to a playdate at the park in addition to our morning constitutional, but even just playing in the gutter for a while seems to anchor them and help them be calmer during the rest of the day.

On Saturday we had some Daddy/Son and Mommy/Daughter time. Jason and Ethan made a trip to West Jordan to check on the yard and pick up some paperwork, etc. Ellie and I stayed in Logan and ran a few errands. We finished off our time together by eating cookie dough and looking online for fancy cupcakes for Ellie's upcoming birthday (how is it possible that I have an almost 7 year old daughter?!)

This afternoon the kids and Jason (read: mostly Jason) made some rafts to float in the canal near our apartment.

This section of the canal has longer/taller driveway bridges, making it easier to float something bigger than a stick.

The kids loved waiting for their rafts to come out from under the bridges.

It's hard to tell who had more fun, Jason or the kids.

I am concerned about what we'll do once winter comes, but hopefully we can continue with outdoor time each day. We've got snowshoes.

Hiking, Dancing and Apple Days

2011-09-11T20:28:00.004-06:00

On Labor Day we went for a hike around Tony Grove Lake. We'd never been, or even heard of it, before but I've talked to several people since and they've all reacted the same way. "Ohhh!", they sigh, "It's beautiful up there!". It really was gorgeous and the day was perfect for a hike. Balanced right between cool and hot, a little bit overcast but not windy or rainy. It was lovely.

This was a splendid hike for our little troopers and had most of their required amenities: dragonflies by the dozens, beautiful wildflowers (maybe a touch past their prime, but beautiful nonetheless), water to throw rocks in, bridges (or "fridges" if you happen to be Ethan) and also a scary gorilla suit set up to scare passersby.

Yes, you read that right. After the hike we grabbed our picnic lunch and headed to a table. As we came around the corner Jason spotted the gorilla suit. It didn't startle him but he said, "Oh!" and pointed it out to me. I jumped and gasped before I realized it was an old Halloween costume someone had nailed to a fallen log. We had a peaceful lunch and the kids eventually got brave enough to stand next to our new friend for a photo.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: when we're hiking we're happy! There are so many fantastic trails in the area, we look forward to trying more of them soon.

Yesterday we went to the River Heights Apple Days festivities. All the activities were free, the lines were short and we had a blast. Ethan and Ellie rode the train twice. First they went together and as soon as they got off Ethan said, "I ride the train again. No wiff Ellie. By myfelf." We did a few other things, including pony rides:

And then we went back for another go at the train, and Ethan did it by himself (love his chubby little thumbs-up!):

We were thrilled with the rides (though BOTH kids froze up at the top of the huge slide and ended up coming back down the way they went up), prizes and small crowds. And all for FREE! We love Cache Valley!

Our hike this afternoon took us to the Logan River Trail. We went a short way along the trail earlier in the week with some new homeschool friends. But today the kids and I took Jason back. Along the trail are markers representing a to-scale model of the solar system. We made it all the way from Neptune (no Pluto) to the Sun, in just about a two mile roundtrip.

It's a nice shady paved path along the river, with plenty of excellent spots for rock-throwing. That makes for very happy kiddos. By the end of the trip Ethan was on Jason's shoulders and he nearly fell alseep there.

Ellie started a dance class this week. She has been counting down the days, and I am thrilled with how well she did. She's taken one dance class before, but we ended up dropping out after just a few classes. She'd cry and refuse to participate, even after talking all week long about how excited she was and how she LOVED her dance class. She had one minor meltdown in class on Wednesday, but other than that she did fantastic! She participated and did everything the teacher asked of her. I am so encouraged to see her making progress like that!

All ready for our morning walk. The nights/early mornings have been getting chilly quickly here and I am oh so happy to see that. Our third-floor apartment is HOT!

We're loving our new location, but have definitely been missing our West Jordan neighbors and friends. We think of you often!

Catching Up

2011-09-11T19:48:00.004-06:00

We've been blessed to make some fun new friends in Logan. Our next door neighbors have quickly become some of the kids' favorite people. They invited us to go swimming in the backyard of one of their friends and I heard Ellie exclaim as they were attempting to fit 6 people on an inner tube (the picture is just after the failed attempt. The record stands at 5), "I am having the best afternoon EVER!"

We had a bunch of our West Jordan neighborhood kids over for a going away party for Ellie and Ethan a couple of weeks ago. I didn't feel like the party went extremely well, the kids were way more interested in running around and not so much in the simple games I'd put together. I'd learned a lesson from past experience didn't plan much, and we didn't do most of the activities I'd planned. But after they all left Ellie told me that the party was "SO awesome!"and I was "the best most awesome mommy EVER!" so I guess it turned out okay.

Ethan is turning into more of a daredevil. His latest tricks involve riding his bike with no hands or no feet, or both.
The water is so cold, your feet get painfully numb after just a few minutes.

We've spent many happy afternoons playing in the freezing cold stream running through Merlin Olsen park. Love that place!

Our home has been under contract for a few weeks. Sadly, that fell through this week so we're back to crossing our fingers that the right buyers come along soon. We're under contract with a home here in Logan and may have to give it up if nothing happens with the West Jordan home soon. We're sad about that possibility and stressed to be playing the waiting game again. But we have to keep reminding ourselves that it's just a house. We're healthy and we get to see Jason often (which is more than we could say when he was commuting to Logan every day!). There are worse things than waiting, but I am extremely impatient about the unknown.

For some reason, Ethan insists on making this face whenever he tries on my sunglasses.

We've fallen into a very nice schedule here, and I am feeling more confident as mommy/teacher than I did last year. Cache Valley has some incredible homeschoolers and we are blessed to be involved in choir, book clubs, dance classes, play groups, a nature adventure group, and we've been meeting lots of new people and making new friends. I love both change and routine, so I feel like we've got the best of both worlds going right now!

Lake Powell

2011-08-22T16:16:00.005-06:00

The kids and I went on our annual Kindlespire/Kimball family vacation to Lake Powell in July (Jason had to stay home to finish up some projects with his old job).

As always, the trip was wonderful. Boat rides, sand,

Rattlesnakes (Yes, my dad caught a rattlesnake. Sometimes he thinks he's Steve Irwin. In his defense, they didn't go looking for a snake. The boys were saving lizards from the rapidly rising water and happened upon the snake under a bush. Dad caught it to show the kids and then Mark killed the snake. If you want a bloodier version of the story, Ellie would be happy to tell you the uncensored version)
Sharpie tattoos by my wonderfully talented sister, Nikki. Ethan got a turtle on his foot...
And Ellie had a fancy flower design. Ellie also gave me a tattoo on my foot that said "Jason", I didn't get a good photo of it, though.
Lizard catching with cousins...is there anything better?
Cougar doesn't think so!
Ethan and Grandpa went hiking (and to the best of my knowledge didn't catch any deadly creatures).
Ethan caught 2 fishies with grandpa's help. He mentions this at least once a day lately. I just asked him to tell me about catching fish at Lake Powell. He said, "I get one fish...two times! Boppa help...there was lots of them...I held fissing pole and Boppa catch the fishy". He also mentions this in prayers frequently.

Ethan and Phoenix looking at the catfish they just caught.

A little boy with a black eye and a fishing pole...

There was also a lot of squirting with these ingenious rafts my parents brought. Squirt guns hooked right in. Genius!

I always love Lake Powell, and this year was especially fun. It was so nice to share this place full of so many of my own childhood memories with my kids.

LAKE POWELL MEMORIES 2011

--Aggressive/angry lady at houseboat loading site " Why are you still talking to me?!" (did Dad "accidentally" steal her shoes? Possibly.)

--"I think we're in water" Kristi and Mark wake up to 6 inches of water under their tent. By the time they get everything out, the water is knee deep.

--Ethan LOVES tubing. He sings "tubing, tubing, tu-BING!" as we get ready to go.

--"Smashrock Island"--named by Ellie. A good place to swim for "cliff jumping".

--Saving lizards, kangaroo rats from rising water...finding a rattlesnake in the process. Dad picks it up ("Hold your stupidity up high, Dad, so I can take a picture!")

--Ethan hiked all the way "up high" and down by himself so we could get reception to talk to Jason.

--Ethan and Ellie riding at the bow of the boat, just like Mommy used to.

--Heidi's best water-skiing runs for years!

--Rattlesnake quote: Dad thew the rattlesnake into the hole Mark dug. Dad, "Ah! I missed!" Mark, "I didn't", as he chopped the head off with a shovel.

Poor Peanut!

2011-08-22T16:08:00.002-06:00

Our poor little Peanut got quite the shiner over 4th of July weekend. He got thouroughly dizzy on the spinny ride at the park and walked straight into a pole. This goose-egg appeared almost immediately.

He was black and blue for a week, but it didn't slow him down at all. This is his 2nd black eye in the not-quite 2 years he's been mobile... just a sign of things to come, I'm sure.

2 Years

2011-08-22T15:58:00.002-06:00

On July 11th we celebrated the 2 year anniversary of the day Ethan was sealed to us. We visited the Jordan River Temple and re-told the kids all about that special day. I'll never forget the way Ethan looked all dressed in white, the way my heart flooded with love and my eyes flooded with tears when he smiled at me in the sealing room. I am grateful every day that he is ours.

Ethan's Prayers

2011-08-05T20:06:00.002-06:00

There is nothing I love to listen to more than a two-year-old's prayers. Ethan's have been particularly sweet lately. When he says his prayers Jason or I keep him on track by saying "thank Thee for..." and pausing while he fills in the blank. We repeat the process until he can't think of anything else to be grateful for. He'll close his eyes while he speaks, but then opens them after each thing he says to smile at us and nod vigorously until we nod back our approval. I want to remember the following snippets of prayers from the last few weeks or so.

Almost every time Ethan says a prayer the first thing he is grateful for is "Boppa's House". He loves to see his grandparents!

We went to Lake Powell with my family in July (eventually I'll get around to posting some pictures from that trip...) and Ethan caught two fish with Grandpa's help. He still mentions that in his prayers frequently

Me: Thank Thee for...

Ethan: I catched TWO fishies! And Grandpa catched a snake. (Grandpa catching the rattlesnake is a story for another day).

Some friends of ours invited Ethan and Ellie to ride horses a couple of weeks ago. Ethan brings this up every chance he gets, even during prayers.

Me: Thank Thee for...

Ethan: I ride a horsie! TWO times! (He holds up his chubby little hand in an attempt to show just two fingers to emphasize his point.)

One day last week my mom took the kids to the zoo. Ethan was thrilled and has mentioned the zoo in his prayers every night since. The first night it went something like this:

Me: Thank Thee for...

Ethan:...Gramma.

...the zoo.

...bird show.

...elephants.

...elephants in the water.

...rhinos.

...giraffes.

...Gramma.

...I wanna go to the zoo again. (after this one when I nodded at him, he said, "Yay!" as though I'd promised to take him again the next day).

Tonight for pizza and a movie night we watched a documentary about airplanes during WWII. After the show was over Jason showed the kids a picture of his Grandpa Hillman (we call him Grandpa Hoot) who was a gunner during the war. During his prayers this evening it was obvious that the talk had an effect on Ethan.

Me: Thank Thee for...

Ethan: Grandpa Hoot. He a good guy and had a "pew" (he calls guns "pews"; as in "pew-pew", the sound a gun makes).

Me: Thank Thee for...

Ethan: I wanna go to the zoo.

Angel

2011-08-01T16:35:00.002-06:00

Ellie and I started a mother-daughter book club recently. We read Newbery honor books and talk about them, then do a project relating to the book. The first book we read was From The Mixed Up Files Of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. The book is about a brother and sister that run away to live at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. They investigate a mystery surrounding a sculpture of an angel.

We had the girls make their own sculptures after we discussed the book. Ellie made this angel, inspired by the book. I love seeing her artistic side come through!

Summer Fun

2011-08-01T16:26:00.002-06:00

For another cousin adventure we went to the splash pad in Spanish Fork, Ethan talked about the "sprinkles" for a week after that trip. I promised myself I'd never start a sentence this way, but... When I was a kid we didn't have splash pads. But man, they are a fantastic!

Memory Grove

2011-08-01T16:22:00.002-06:00

We visited the Memory Grove Memorial Park in downtown Salt Lake for one of our cousin Nature days. I love this picture of our silly kiddos. We so enjoyed roaming around the park, I highly recommend a visit if you've never been there before.

Hillman Staycation

2011-08-01T15:25:00.006-06:00

Jason's parents planned a "staycation" for the whole Hillman crew in June (yes, I know that was a while ago...we've been busy). We enjoyed 3 full days of family fun. We went hiking:

Or, rather, we hiked to the trailhead, since the road was closed due to our super-snowy spring. We hung out and threw rocks in puddles, etc. but decided not to go any farther. At least we were outside!

Ellie and Grandpa Hillman found a shady spot.

Sweet Jane and Ellie and their trusty hiking sticks.

Visited Wheeler Farm: (Ellie was generous with her hard-earned allowance money and bought duck food to share--which the ducks had absolutely no interest in-- and treats for all the cousins at the general store)

Ethan had a blast chasing birds at Wheeler Farm.

There was much silliness, but that's not really a surprise with our funny kids.

Grandma planned games and activities. This is Ellie's campfire snack. So cute!

We also went to the Treehouse Museum in Ogden, one of our all-time favorite places. Both of our kids played parts in the Partici-play, which was a shock to me. They don't normally like to do things like that, but jumped right in. Ethan got to be a red fish:

And here he is on stage:

We had relay races, water play time, delicious meals and plenty of time to visit.

The weekend was a great time to reconnect with family, and we feel blessed to have had that time just before we move a bit farther away.

This is "Ethan the Polar Bear".

First Strawberry of the Year

2011-07-07T21:45:00.000-06:00

We love to celebrate the little things, and recently added a new tradition to our line-up. When Ellie picked our first ripe strawberry of the year, we cut it into fourths (so we could all enjoy a taste) and she decorated the plate with blooms from the yard. We enjoyed the treat at dinner. I love spontaneous traditions!

Silver Lake

2011-07-07T21:40:00.000-06:00

We have had a "Cousin Nature Day Adventure" every Wednesday morning this summer. One of our first excursions was to Silver Lake up Big Cottonwood canyon. There was still so much snow, we couldn't find the trail. It didn't bother the kids much, they led us on a tromp over the 5 feet of packed solid snow. (You can see the top of the railing along the boardwalk in the above picture, the entire boardwalk was covered).

We saw some bold ground squirrels, a deer and even a fox! We've loved spending time with cousins so often.

Mallow roasting

2011-07-07T21:34:00.000-06:00

We've been spending a lot of time cooking outside this summer. There is nothing better than dinner by the fire! Especially with marshmallows for dessert.

Teddy Bear Picnic

2011-07-07T21:29:00.002-06:00

We have a long summer to-do list this year. One of the things Ellie was looking forward to most was our Teddy Bear Picnic. She arranged all the "fanciness" while I made lunch. It's so fun to spend time talking to these two. They crack me up on a regular basis.

Big Shoes to Fill

2011-07-07T21:18:00.002-06:00

Ethan adores his Daddy and loves to help him whenever the possibility arises.

I love to watch the bond they have and pray that Ethan will follow in Jason's footsteps and inherit the determination, patience, Christ-like love, brilliance and kindness that Jason possesses.

10th Anniversary

2011-07-07T20:34:00.004-06:00

To celebrate our 10th anniversary, Jason and I left the kids with family (thanks family!) and spent a week in Colorado Springs, CO. We'd originally planned to go to Puerto Rico because Jason was supposed to have a work training there the week before our anniversary. That training was moved to the Sandy location (boo), so we decided to go somewhere else we'd never been...we like to call it "Almost Puerto Rico".

It ended up being a delightful trip, and we enjoyed the down time, here is a list (in no particular order) of the highlights of the trip:

--My first-ever professional massage. Heavenly!

--Our car hit 100,000 miles:

--Attended the Denver Temple

--Visited the Denver Art Museum (they call people who donate to the museum "DAM Good Friends". That made me giggle.)

--Toured the Olympic Training facility. We got to see the swimming pool, and we watch some wrestlers and weightlifters work out.

--Found, quite by accident, after a very disappointing trip to the Manitou Cliff Dwellings (it's a long story, but suffice it to say that it's a tourist trap and an offensive one at that) a gorgeous hike. Waldo Canyon loop is a must-do if you're ever in the area. It was beautiful, passed through many different types of terrain and had breathtaking views of Pikes Peak. It's 7 miles roundtrip--perfect for an afternoon hike without the kiddos.

--We visited The Garden of the Gods several times, and can't wait to go back.

--We met a nice older couple at church and they invited us for lunch afterward. We learned that he is a rare minerals collector and he showed us his collection. This silver wire (which grew like this naturally) was my favorite piece:
--We tried new food. This restaurant was supposed to be a great place to get dim sum. But when we got there it had been changed to a Vietnamese place. We couldn't walk out once we'd discovered the mix-up because they were so excited to see us. Jason was brave, but didn't much enjoy his meal. I loved mine, though.

--We saw Rope at a local college black box theatre. I love that play, and this production was very well done.

--We wandered around downtown Denver for several hours, and found a deli with a fantastic name.

--I read two books during the week. One of them in one sitting. I haven't done that in a very long time!

It was a rejuvenating week, and so wonderful to spend an entire week with my sweetheart. I love that man!

Love is at Home

2011-07-07T20:32:00.000-06:00

Ellie has been going through a really difficult emotional time lately. Her emotions have always been a roller coaster ride, but they have intensified in the last couple of months. Some days I'm at a complete loss as to how to help her regain control. And then we have days where she is delightful; so happy and fun and silly and sweet and all the attributes of our dear girl I've been longing for. A couple of Sundays ago I made sidewalk paint and sent the kids out to decorate our new patio. Ellie called me out to show me her masterpiece and it melted my heart. Some days when she finally settles down and goes to bed I am thrilled to not have to deal with her temper and emotional outbursts for several hours. And I think she can sense that. Despite my frustrations, she knows she is loved. And we learn a little bit more every day.

Visiting Howell

2011-07-01T15:08:00.002-06:00

We visited Grandma and Grandpa Munk and Leslie in Howell on Tuesday. Grandpa was very patient and took great care of Ellie's baby doll (still called Pink Baby, though Ellie does attempt to change the name every once in a while). We love you, Grandma and Grandpa!

Watering the Garden

2011-07-01T15:04:00.002-06:00

One of Ethan's jobs is to help water the garden. He loves this job and has a longer attention span for watering than almost anything else (except playing with cars). Of course, he can't help but sneak in some sips for himself.

Swimming Girl

2011-06-18T21:20:00.000-06:00

Ellie finished another round of swimming lessons recently. She insisted that she needed to borrow my swim cap, and was delighted with how she looked in it. Love that grin!

St. George

2011-06-18T20:41:00.006-06:00

After Baby left, we took a last minute mini-vacation to St. George. It was wonderful to get away and reconnect as a family of 4 again. We spent a lot of time at the hotel pool and up Snow Canyon. It was a gorgeous weekend!

One of our favorite hikes was the Lava Overlook trail.

Just when the kids were "too tired to go any further", we arrived at a huge lava cave in the ground. We climbed down into the opening and went back into the cave a bit, just til it was too dark to see much of anything (note to self: next time take a flashlight).

Ellie and Ethan loved the Sand Dunes. The trail is very short and leads to paradise, at least for our kids. Soft, deep gorgeous sand. They'd have stayed there all day if not for their growling tummies. We actually went back to the Sand Dunes a second time and enjoyed tinfoil dinners in the picnic area (which we had completely to ourselves, by the way) and played in the sand some more. In my opinion Snow Canyon State Park is a little known southern Utah gem. I definitely prefer a small park like this to the much more crowded Zion National Park. We'll be going back again.

We had a blast at the sand dunes...is it any wonder that Ethan came home with this much sand in his shoe?
Seriously. That's exactly what it looked like when we took his shoe off. How did all that sand fit in there with his chubby feet?

We also spent some time at the St. George Temple. We visited the grounds and went through the visitor center. I always love visiting temples, and St. George is one of my favorites.

We are so grateful for the time we had together. It's hard to explain the transition our family goes through as we add and then say goodbye to foster children that stay in our home. but over the past few weeks I feel like I'm getting to know my kids again, and they're more fun than ever.

Thanks to Emily for her St. George activity recommendations, we had a wonderful time!

Back to Us

2011-05-11T09:26:00.000-06:00

After a difficult custody hearing yesterday Baby went to live with his new family in Wisconsin. After having that sweet child for 6 months, our hearts are full of a jumble of emotions. We feel sad about the loss of the dreams and plans we unintentionally made about him being part of our lives forever.

We feel grateful for the opportunity we had to care for him for a while. We feel heartbroken for his birth parents. We feel frustration for "the system", but don't know what we could do to make it better. Ideally there wouldn't be a "system", parents would be healthy, stable, loving and fit to care for their children. But because that is not the case, some children need a place to be cared for and loved. We are happy to offer that love and stability.

We were able to meet Baby's new parents for the first time on Monday. After months of prayer and fasting that Baby might be the answer to our prayers, it was hard for us to face the fact that he might be leaving. My amazing husband set a great example for me in focusing our energy on loving this new family. It would be very easy for us to be angry with them, to be resentful of them "taking our baby away", but we didn't want that to happen. They are good, kind people.

They've been through the wringer the past 6 months, just like we have, waiting for an outcome with Baby. Communication was not the greatest during this case, and this poor family thought everything would be wrapped up by last Christmas. They were all ready to welcome a new baby in December and had no idea it was even an option that we may be able to keep him.

Emotions were high during court yesterday. The judge (who has been doing this for 30 years) cried as he read his verdict, something which has never happened before. The caseworker (who is fairly distant and unemotional) got teary as he expressed his sorrow for our family afterward. The Assistant Attorney General expressed how sorry she felt for our family, also with tears in her eyes. As the judge told us, they don't often have to choose between 2 good families. In juvenile court the choices are almost always clear-cut. It's heartbreaking to take a child from their birth parents. But if the parents aren't fit to care for their children, at the end of the day the judge and attorneys can go home feeling that they did a good thing for the child. In this case, he was choosing between two families that are healthy, loving and stable. One family had to be hurt, and the judge had the responsibility to decide.

We've cried more over the last 5 days than at any other point in our marriage. Last night we were feeling like we'd cried everything out, but as I type this the tears are flowing.

For Ellie, this is a part of life. She's seen 10 of our "babies for now" come and go. She loves them while they're here and misses them a bit when they go, but she doesn't remember life being any other way. Ethan is having a hard time understanding where Baby went. Every so often this morning he'll say, "I want Baby home...". He's sad, but it won't last long.

Mostly I feel gratitude. The fact that we have 2 children is an absolute miracle. I am so grateful for them, and look forward to focusing more on them. I look forward to getting back to "real life" without extra time away from them for court dates, doctor appointments, visits with birth parents, etc. But there is a part of me that wonders if/when we'll have more children. I'm a planner, and I want to know where they'll come from and when.

As I look back at my life I can see that God's plan for me is always better than my plan for my life. But why can't I always remember that? I am working at turning things over to Him, trusting His plan and doing the best I can with what I've been given.

So where do we go from here? Right now, our family is going to focus on healing. We plan to spend a lot of time together. We parted with Baby's new family last night with promises to keep in touch. I can see us being life-long friends with them, and I hope it turns out that way. As for foster care, we plan to take some time off for hearts to mend. We'll reassess whether this is something we want to continue later.

Last night Ellie reminded me of a quote from our foster care training, "If your heart doesn't break when they leave, you didn't do your job." I asked her, " Is your heart breaking?" She said "Yes". " Then you did a fantastic job!"

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, prayers and love. Our hearts are hurting, but that helps us know that we did our job.

2011-05-10T13:12:00.000-06:00

Ellie wrote this story for a Mother's Day surprise for me (warning: spelling and punctuation not edited):

" the MONSTER

Once there was a castle and once there was a monster who was guarding a tower the monster was a bad one! he said DONT GO OUT OF HERE to the princess in the tower. She had blue eyes, and brown hair, and she was 29. She was very pretty. her name was Heidi and she had been in the tower since she was 4 wow! said the people in the village next to the tower. that's a big tower! and she needs to get resqued (rescued) with a prince and the most richest prince oooo now heres one prince Jason. He is 33 and has brown hair and eyes. he is the most rich person in the land. he rode a horse and killed the monster and they got themselfs out of there! and they lived happily ever after

THE END"

I love my thoughtful, creative girl!

Easter Egg Hunt

2011-05-07T07:38:00.000-06:00

A Man With a Plan

2011-05-07T07:20:00.001-06:00

Ethan woke up early this morning, a man with a plan. He's our early riser, and ready to get moving as soon as he's up. He ate a bit of oatmeal, read a quick book with Daddy and then insisted on his shoes and hat. Then he headed out to the sandbox to get to work (still in his pajamas...)

I've come to love my few early-morning minutes with Ethan. We've started a ritual where I read him books as he eats a bowl of oatmeal. He needs to take a bite before I turn the page. I love to hear his little feet pattering around the quiet house as he looks for me. Once he finds me he'll whisper, "Mommy, I want ha-meow (oatmeal), books and milk, sheeee (please)? "

Once we have that time together, he's ready to run.

There's so much to do, and daylight is burning!

Buzz

2011-04-07T18:09:00.002-06:00

I always have a burst of pre-court nervous energy the day (or week...) of court dates. This morning that resulted in a buzz cut for Ethan. I love his curls, but every once in a while it's good to have a change. I'm hoping this will help decrease the amount of sand that gets stuck in his hair when he plays in the sandbox. I guess I'll have to put sunscreen on his head now, though. By the way, court went well. Another *small* step in our direction!

"Sall and Peppa"

2011-04-07T17:56:00.001-06:00

Ethan loves to eat salt and pepper plain. He will ask for "Sall and peppa, shee?" (translation: salt and pepper, please?) He wants us to put it on his sweet, chubby little hand like this:

And then he licks it off. Delish!

He loves the big chunks of freshly ground pepper best.

He also loves to eat salsa and hot sauce with a spoon.

I've been told it's a "guy thing".

Happy Birthday, Jason!

2011-04-07T17:42:00.002-06:00

We celebrated Jason's birthday last month with his favorite dinner (lemon fried chicken, a family recipe), a field trip to the Thanksgiving Point glass blowing studio and "the best birthday gift ever" according to Jason.

I got him a remote controlled helicopter, and he loves it (yay!). My favorite part is watching his face while he flies it:

Ethan loves the "ha-koo-ka" too.
Jason's favorite TV show at the moment is Top Gear (a British show about cars), so I made him a cake that looks like The Stig.

Happy Birthday, my love!

Friends

2011-04-07T17:35:00.002-06:00

When Ethan was sick a few weeks ago, Ellie tried to help him feel better. She snuggled him up on the couch with all of his lovies. (He sleeps with all these stuffed animals crowded around him each night). We were thrilled to see our boy smiling under all those friends!

Saint Patrick's Day

2011-04-07T17:13:00.003-06:00

Ellie and Ethan made leprechaun traps the night before St. Patrick's Day. Ellie was convinced hers would catch a leprechaun this year. She put it right under our front window because "that's where the little guys always come in". Who knew?

Ethan spent his time building towers and then knocking them over. This is how his trap looked when he went to bed:
Ellie decided at the last minute to make a trap on Baby's behalf. She ripped a hole in a brown paper sack. Voila!

Unfortunately, they didn't catch a leprechaun. But he did leave a note and some candy. The note said:

To catch me you gave a good try.

I'm lucky I'm nimble and spry!

I barely got away.

I just wanted to say:

If you like yummy treats say "aye"!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

Amelia and Roger

2011-03-23T10:21:00.009-06:00

I was able to fly (thanks to Jason's frequent flyer miles) to California during the first week of March for my dear cousin's wedding. My mom, sister Nikki and brother drove out for the festivities, too. It was so fun to spend a couple of days before the wedding with Amelia, helping her check off her last pre-wedding to-do list items.

We steamed tablecloths, cooked 40 pounds of pasta, and set up dozens of tables, decorations, etc.

Amelia is a florist and talented flower-arranger, so she did all of her own flowers for the reception. She got a little emotional when it was time to make her own bouquet. Happy day! My mom and I even learned how to make a boutonniere (or rather, 17 of them), a skill that would have come in handy when I was in high school.

Their wedding day was beautiful! Roger picked Amelia up in this classy 1938 Something (I forgot what it's called...)

They were sealed in the gorgeous Newport Beach LDS Temple. The ceremony was lovely, and being in that sealing room reminded me so much of when Ethan was sealed to our family. It brought back the flood of emotions from that day, the gratitude and love and faith that my Father has a plan for me and my family. It also made me wish to be there someday soon with Baby (we've still got a long wait to see whether that will be possible).

Nikki and me waiting for the newlyweds to come out of the temple.

Roger and Amelia

March 4, 2011

Amelia and her parents (Linda and Jeff) and her Grandma.

Between the sealing and reception, my mom, sister, brother and I went to a couple of beaches. We happened to time things just right and came to one of their favorite tide pools at low tide.

We saw pelicans, starfish, mussels, anemones, hermit crabs and a guy we called "Steve". We met a nice fellow and his 2 kids who were exploring the tide pools as well. We didn't learn his actual name, but he looked like a "Steve" to us, so that's what we called him.

Steve showing us a starfish eating a delicious mussel lunch.

We visited a pier a few miles away. As we were looking out at the ocean, my mom started reading a sign about gray whales. She looked up at the water and spotted a pod not far from where we were standing.

I liked the way a man next to us pointed out the whales to his family. He said, "Do you see those dark things out there that you think are rocks? But they're moving around and they keep spraying water into the air? THOSE are the whales!"

It was a long day, but the bride was able to find a little time to put her feet up before the reception.

Somehow I missed getting a picture of myself with Amelia, but here's an old one:

I loved being away for a few days, but mostly I was grateful to be there for Amelia. We spent weeks together every summer, wrote letters back and forth for years (including during her LDS mission) and I love her dearly. I'm so happy for you, dear cousin!

For Dad

2011-03-17T12:39:00.003-06:00

My Dad just texted me and said: Heidi, three words "blog-up-date". So, this one's for you, Daddy. (And it's going to be quick 'cause I've got a teething 4 month old and a 6 year old in the middle of working on math)

I recently gave Ellie free reign to hang whatever she wants on her bedroom door. It seems like a good compromise since she's constantly asking to tape/pin drawings up on her walls but the cheap paint we have peels off no matter what tape we use. She took this to mean she could also decorate the rest of the bedroom doors. Here's what she put on the master bedroom door:

The sign says, "Goodnight. Love ya! Welcome Fellas!" I'm not really sure what she thinks happens after she goes to bed, apparently a party of some sort...

Ellie also recently borrowed a family of dolls from her Grandma Hillman for a couple of days. During quiet time one afternoon she gave them all casts on various body parts. If necessary they also got crutches. The casts were made from ripped up paper towels and tape. The crutches she made with popsicle sticks taped around the body of the doll.

She nursed all the dolls back to health rather quickly, I'm happy to report.

We've been thoroughly loving the warm days. It seems like this was the longest, coldest winter I've ever experienced. Is that really true, or does it just seem that way because we were cooped up with a new little one all winter? Either way, I'm extremely glad Spring is on the way.

We still have a long road ahead, but we're optimistic about the possibility of Baby being ours forever. Please continue to pray for us!

Waiting

2011-02-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

Ethan was sick all of last week, and didn't have much of an appetite. On Friday afternoon he was feeling a bit better and was very excited for our pizza and a movie night. He sat at the island watching every move I made, especially when I started slicing the pineapple. I love this candid picture of him quietly waiting for a nibble of pineapple. Normally he wouldn't be so patient, he'd be patting my leg and screaming "I wan' yom!" (I want some!). It gives me hope that he won't always have the patience of a two-year-old.

Pillow Pet

2011-02-21T15:06:00.000-07:00

Ellie loves the pillow pet Santa brought her for Christmas. One day a couple of weeks ago we had the playdough out and she decided to make a replica of her pillow pet. I thought it turned out really cute. And she was absolutely smitten with it. Love that girl!

Sick

2011-02-18T09:33:00.002-07:00

Baby has had a cough for the past week or so. It suddenly got worse, and he could hardly catch his breath for about 45 minutes straight yesterday afternoon. And a couple times he coughed so hard he vomited explosively. I got him in to see our pediatrician and he's being treated for pertussis (aka whooping cough). He started on antibiotics yesterday and seems to be a bit better today. But, man, I hate having sick little ones! It seems Ethan may have it, too. Poor guy had a fever of 104+ two days ago and is coughing up a lung, too.

(By the way, how do you get this disease if you have up-to-date immunizations? I thought that was what we were trying to avoid...)

Thank you, thank you to sweet and thoughtful neighbors and family members (you know who you are!) that have helped us over the last couple of days.

ps- Not only do we have sickness in our home, but I'm sick about a stupid mistake I made. Somehow I lost an envelope full of cash. The last time I remember having it is when I put back our cart at the grocery store on Wednesday. I called the grocery store to see if anyone had found it (naturally, no one turned anything in). I tore the house apart yesterday looking for it, and it's just gone. Ugh! Don't worry, it wasn't so much money that we'll really be hurting. But it was enough to make me feel sick every time I remember that I did something so dumb.

2011-02-14T14:25:00.008-07:00

Heidi, I love you. Just thinking about you makes me happy.

Language Frustration

2011-02-09T20:02:00.001-07:00

{this picture has nothing to do with anything}

Ethan has been speaking more and more clearly lately, except not always. The last few weeks he's been combining "no" and "yes". So I'll ask him a question and he'll answer, "Nawsh". I'll ask the same question again and he'll say, "Yo". This continues in an ever more frustrating circle until I finally guess whether he means no or yes and he throws a complete meltdown-tantrum. Here is an example that happened this evening. We were having spaghetti for dinner (one of his all-time favorites) and I asked if he wanted sauce on top (sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't).

Me: Ethan, do you want sauce on your pasta?
Ethan: Nawsh
Me: Ethan, do you want some of this sauce on your pasta?
Ethan: Yo-ssssh
Me: Sauce, on here? (pointing)
Ethan: Nooossssh
I decide it's safer to leave his pasta sauce-free and I set the bowl on the table in front of him. Immediately he throws his head back screaming "Sauce, SAUCE!"
Me: Ethan, do you want sauce on your pasta?
Ethan: YES!
I lovingly place a spoonful of sauce on his pasta (okay, maybe I'm a little frustrated at this point. Especially since this is the 15th time we've done something similar to this today).
Ethan: No sauce. NO SAUCE!
complete melt-down ensues...

2 year olds are so fun! (And I really mean than, for the most part.)

But NOT on Wednesday

2011-02-09T16:10:00.004-07:00

One of Ellie's favorite school activities lately is story starters. I'm sure you've seen them (or remember using them in school) before. Yesterday she wrote this story (click on the image to make it bigger):

Today I got a valentine from the president, and...

"It said to come to a Valentine's Day activity today, tomorrow the next day to! I wrote a letter back to him and it said I can come for a week but not Wednesday. Where is it? I went to the activity and stayed all week!!!!! But not Wednesday. The End."

Why was she unable to stay at the President's party on Wednesday you ask? We were able to have one of Jason's co-workers over for dinner on Saturday. She has been visiting from Sweden for the past 2 weeks. Ellie loved Lena and didn't want her to leave our house, so we made plans to see her again before she flies home on Friday. Ellie has been looking forward to lunch with Daddy and Lena for days. The lunch was scheduled for today (Wednesday), and Ellie wouldn't have missed it for anything...even a fancy week-long Valentine's day party at the White House.

Stinky Brother (warning: contains potty humor)

2011-01-26T19:28:00.002-07:00

I was putting Baby down for a nap this afternoon while Ellie worked on rolling out cookies and Ethan played in the kitchen. I heard Ellie in the other room telling Ethan, "Here, go give this to Mommy." And pretty soon Ethan came tromping into the room and delivered this note:

I laughed and changed Ethan's diaper. I didn't notice the other side of the paper until I was showing it to Jason this evening.

It makes me giggle every time I see it.

Even more Toothless Wonder

2011-01-20T16:33:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 2:00 this morning to a whisper, "Mom...Moooom!". I half-opened my eyes and Ellie was standing there smiling at me. "What do you need, Sweetie?," I mumbled. She just stood there silently smiling, and in the darkness I couldn't see her very well. Plus my eyes were closed. "What is it, Ellie?" She held out her hand like she was asking for me to give her something. "Can you please tell me what you want?" "Mom, my tooth came out!" Oh joyous day! She finally lost the tooth that had been hanging on for several weeks longer than it should have! She no longer looks "doofy" (Jason's words, not mine. But they are true).

The tooth fairy doesn't come right away if your tooth falls out in the middle of the night, as everyone knows. So she's waiting patiently for tonight. And she's only misplaced the tooth once so far today.

She looks darling with her toothless grin!

Merry Christmas!

2011-01-12T09:28:00.002-07:00

We woke up to a beautiful tree on Christmas morning, something I was not sure would happen since we'd been in the midst of the dust and mess and chaos of a flooring project the entire week previous. Jason and I were able to get the house presentable enough to enjoy th holiday, and for that I am EXTREMELY grateful!

Ellie snuck in to look at the gifts before we were up, but this is Ethan's first peek.

He knew immediately that the bike was his, and was thrilled with it. He "rode" it around the house for a couple of days after Christmas, but we won't really get to enjoy it until the weather warms up. Soon, I hope! It's been SO cold.

Both big kids loved their pillow pets (or "illa-peh", as Ethan calls it) from Santa. They use them often to sit on for scriptures or storytime.

Ellie was overjoyed to get her very own portable CD player. She's listened to books on CD at every possible moment since she opened this gift.

We had a delicious Christmas lunch and celebration with our Kindlespire family that afternoon. It was a slow, meaningful day with family, the perfect Christmas in my book!

Christmas Eve

2011-01-12T09:03:00.004-07:00

Our Christmas celebrations this year were simple and wonderful. After going to see a movie in the late morning ( a tradition that helps time pass more quickly on a long anticipation-filled day...and not just for the kids. I still get so excited on Christmas Eve that I can't sleep!) we celebrated with the Hillmans on Christmas Eve. The kids enjoyed the traditional Nativity play. Surprisingly, Ethan made an excellent Joseph and was very adamant about wearing his head scarf (what do you call those things?)

Ellie got into her role of Shepherd, Hailey made a beautiful Mary, and our donkey (Luke) wisemen (Sam, Scott and Dad), and narrator (Jason) put on a spectacular performance.

For just a minute, Baby was put into the manger as Baby Jesus but then we decided to play it much safer by using a doll. We caught both Mary (cousin Hailey) and Joseph holding the pretend Baby Jesus upside down at different points during the play, so we felt good about our decision.

This is one of my favorite Christmas traditions, and I love that we were able to do it on our own this year as well as with the extended family. (Our pictures included Baby, so I can't share them here...)
We came home, read our Nativity picture book, the kids opened jammies and went off to bed.

Snowshoeing

2010-12-29T19:47:00.002-07:00

I got to go snowshoeing with some of my favorite people (my daddy, and sisters Katie and Lindsay) last week.

We even saw 2 moose...see the Mama Moose? And we let Dad go first, just in case...

It was wonderful to be outside in the quiet. And the scenery doesn't get much better!

Thanks for a lovely hike! And don't tell, but we talked Dad into buying us donuts, too.

Gorgeous!

Thanksgiving

2010-12-29T19:30:00.001-07:00

I somehow missed sharing our Thanksgiving pictures this year. We spent the holiday with my extended family. Ellie and Tessa went sledding. Tessa is actually my cousin, but obviously is much closer to Ellie's age. These girls have a lot of fun together!

Dad in his tryptophan-induced coma and my beautiful Katie-sister studying for finals. She's just finished her first semester of college. Way to go, Katie!

This is one of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions. Each year we write something we're thankful for on a special tablecloth. We've been doing this for, I think, 8 years now. The best submission is written in my Grandma's shaky, but still beautiful, handwriting. It says "family" and she wrote it the Thanksgiving before she died. What a treasure!

My beautiful Lindsay-sister with my crazy kiddos.

How thankful I am for my family! And for delicious Thanksgiving food!

Faux Snow

2010-12-29T19:13:00.000-07:00

One of our advent traditions is to make faux snow. Ellie loves getting her hands messy and jumps right in every year.

Ethan, on the other hand, was content to watch. Here he is doing the sign for "dirty". He cannot stand to have sticky and or dirty hands. His face is another matter. He'd be fine to spend an entire day with ketchup around his mouth, but not on his hands.

Arrr...Pirates ahoy!

2010-12-29T19:04:00.001-07:00

A couple of weeks ago Ellie spent the better part of a morning designing and making these pirate costumes. It all started with her sunglasses. Jason gave her an old pair of his glasses and switched the lenses so she had one light and one dark. She took it from there and even made a get-up for Ethan. He insisted on having glasses, too and so borrowed a set of Jason's safety glasses.

My favorite touch is Ellie's beard.

Little parts

2010-12-07T03:32:00.002-07:00

We're in love with all of Baby's tiny parts. He's growing so quickly; already moving from preemie into newborn clothes!

We're praying this works out as well for us as it did last time. It will most likely be months before we know either way. I won't lie, I hate not knowing. But I do trust that God has a plan for our family. I've seen it in action before.

Snow!

2010-11-30T03:53:00.002-07:00

Toothless Wonder

2010-11-29T04:12:00.003-07:00

One of Ellie's favorite book series lately is Junie B. Jones (and truthfully Jason and I love them, too. Junie B. is hilarious.) Ellie recently picked up Junie B. First Grader, Toothless Wonder from the library and read it just in time...my baby lost her first tooth!

This tooth has been literally hanging by a thread for days (see video below). On Tuesday evening we were all sitting together on the living room floor clapping and chanting "Don't go to sleep!" at Baby. We were trying to keep him awake a bit later in the hopes that I'd get a little more sleep that night. As we were clapping, Ellie accidentally hit her mouth. Her eyes went wide and she quickly spit something into her hand. It took her a few moments to recognize what it was and then she was ecstatic. She'd been terrified of losing that tooth, and I was so happy that it was not a big deal (and completely painless!) when it fell out.

Because I was taking pictures of Ellie, Ethan felt the need to join in. Every time Ellie had us wiggle her loose tooth, Ethan would want us to wiggle his teeth too. I love how much he adores his sister, and I'm grateful we've got a while before he'll be losing teeth.

And the kids wanted a group shot.

I got this video the morning she lost her tooth. I'm so glad I didn't decide to put it off, or this fantastic trick would not be recorded for posterity.

Congratulations on the lost tooth.

Ellie J. Hillman, Toothless Wonder!

Overheard...

2010-11-28T21:18:00.002-07:00

Ethan was playing with Mary and Baby Jesus from one of our nativities this evening.

He made Mary walk over to the manger and said (in a high squeaky voice), "Hi, baby! Wanna hot dog?"

I love that boy!

Baby

2010-11-15T14:51:00.003-07:00

We are thrilled to have a new foster baby in the house (we're not allowed to post pictures, sorry). I spent Saturday night at the hospital and brought home a newborn Sunday afternoon. He's sweet and easy and we all adore him already. The kids are constantly kissing him, and I have to confess I'm right there with them.

Last night Jason made cookie dough (no, not cookies...just cookie dough. Sorry for those of you raw egg haters!) and as soon as the kids got their spoons full they plopped down in front of Baby's swing to watch him.

No idea yet how long we'll have him. But we'll sure love him while he's here!

Ellie's Fall Festival

2010-11-15T14:42:00.002-07:00

Ellie had her 2nd Fall Festival this week. She played 2 violin pieces: Allegro and Perpetual Motion in D. She did such a great job! My mom accompanied her, which was really fun too (and I appreciated not having to do it myself!). Way to go, Miss Ellie!

We thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the program, as well. It included everything from violin to poetry to karate demos to Showtunes and Glee remixes. It was fantastic!

Our kids wore their Christmas outfits to the recital so we had to get a few shots of them. They are a little silly to cooperate well. At least they're cute!

I love this one. When these two get a long they have SO much fun together.

It was a fun-filled night and we're already looking forward to next year.

Ethan's Birthday

2010-11-08T16:58:00.005-07:00

We celebrated Ethan's birthday a little late this year since Jason was out of town on the big day. Ethan's current obsessions are cars (he'll drive them back and forth--for hours at a time--across any flat surface he can find), animals (especially mamas with their babies), and smiley faces (he calls them "Happies").

On his actual birthday we had smiley face pancakes for breakfast.

I made this poster to hang up, but it was never actually put on the wall. Ethan couldn't wait to play with the cars as soon as he saw it.

I didn't plan on him using the poster as a road, but he loved it. He'd yell "Whoaaaa!" and make the cars go really fast around the curve of the 2. The lucky boy received cars, cars and more cars. Plus some animal mama and baby toys. He's been in heaven ever since!

Happy face cake.

Ethan's biggest trial in life right now is his eyelashes. Several times lately he's told me, "Eye...hurt". When I looked closer, several of his eyelashes (which were still attached) had curled under and were stuck to his eyeball. I'd like to feel bad for him, but really I'm jealous.

Look how long they are!

Happy Birthday, Peanut!

2 years ago today

2010-11-07T20:20:00.004-07:00

Two years ago today we started to fall in love.

As I look back at that time I am overcome with emotion. I remember the various feelings whirling around in my heart. Love for a sweet child that had a rough start at life. Hope for his future and ours. The exhaustion that caring for a newborn and a 13 month old and a 4 year old brings. Longing to know how our family would grow. Wanting to extend all of my heart to this little person, but feeling the need to hold back slightly to avoid yet another heartbreak (you'll remember he was the 9th little one to stay with us). And not the slightest clue about the trials we'd face.

Within days were were all absolutely head-over-heels for this tiny, sweet, mellow boy who loved to be snuggled tightly and held all day. We knew after only a month or so that he would be with us forever (it took the court several months to catch up with us, though).

Looking back, I can see God's hand in our lives. There were so many circumstances that had to be just right in order for us to have our boy join our family. Ethan was meant to be ours. Both of our children are absolute miracles. And today I am bursting with gratitude for them both.

Halloween

2010-11-02T11:02:00.002-06:00

On Sunday we celebrated Halloween, as well as a double 2-year-old birthday for Phoenix and Ethan with my family. Phoenix got very into blowing out the candles. We re-lit them at least 3 times for him. And he wouldn't blow them out unless we sang "Happy Birthday" first.

My dad made a "meat head" for dinner. It tasted delicious, but looking at it now makes me gag a little.

Oozy spider cake, which didn't ooze as well as planned.

Happy Halloween from Dorothy!

Ethan put up a HUGE fight when we first started trick-or-treating in the rain on Saturday night. He sat down on our neighbor's wet driveway and wouldn't budge. He quickly figured things out once I carried him to a house or two. When a door would open, Ellie would say "Trick or treat!" and Ethan would chime in ,"A treat!" He was very please with his bucket of loot. And after a cold, rainy trip around our block we were all happy to call it good and go back into the warm house.

Happy Halloween!

Snow?!

2010-10-25T15:58:00.001-06:00

Ellie was sledding in our backyard early this morning. I can't believe how much snow we got last night! I am NOT ready for winter!

Field Trip Friday-- Murray Park

2010-10-22T16:05:00.003-06:00

I took the munchkins to Murray Park this morning for some leaf-collecting-park-playing-picnic-eating fun.

There were lots of crunchy leaves. Ethan ran back and forth in this spot, stomping on the leaves, for quite a while.

We filled our bags with beautiful fallen leaves which Ellie has big craft plans for over the next few days.

I got to show Ellie and Ethan one of my favorite childhood memories of fall. I remember going on hikes at this time of year. My dad would have us stand underneath a tree, he'd then go shake the trunk of the tree and the colorful leaves would flutter to the ground all around us. It seemed magical when I was a child. Watching Ellie's face while I did the same thing today was even better.

We love fall!

ps--We also saw a cat on a leash, which Ellie thought was hilarious.

Field trip Friday-- Big Cottonwood Canyon

2010-10-15T15:41:00.002-06:00

For our fieldtrip today we went exploring in Big Cottonwood canyon. I only had a couple of requirements for the trip: that we see the beautiful autumn leaves and that we find a quiet place to sit and enjoy being outside. After some searching we were able to find a spot right on the river.

Ethan threw rocks for close to an hour. Good thing he throws with both hands, or one of his arms would be a lot bigger than the other by now.

According to Ellie, she "helped a ladybug find a lovely new home". I think if we asked the ladybug it would have a different story.

We were very lucky to be able to take cousin Hailey along with us today. She plopped herself right down next to the water and made a family out of some little rocks. She's darling, and so fun to have around. And now that she's gotten over her intense fear of Ethan, they play really well together.

I am so glad that I was able to leave my worries at home and enjoy this time with 3 great kiddos.

What did you do on this beautiful fall day?

Our Ellie

2010-10-05T09:56:00.005-06:00

Here are some pictures of the festivities on Ellie's birthday. She woke up to a candy-bar poster.

And her reaction to the poster:

She stood there awestruck for a good 30 seconds. A poster full of treats! What could be better? It was a hit!

Her favorite gift (from us anyway) was a "lunch purse". She's been begging for a lunch box for years, so when I found this on clearance the night before her birthday I bought it as a $3 splurge. The best $3 I ever spent! She fills it with odds and ends and totes it around every day. We've used it for field trips and after-swimming-lesson snacks multiple times already.

For her birthday cake Ellie asked for a castle on a hill. She was thrilled with what I came up with.

Ellie has been making great progress in her swimming lately. It's so fun to watch her get into a sport I've loved ever since I can remember, and even before that. Maybe someday we'll be the first mother-daughter teammates in an Olympic relay. Dara Torres did pretty darn well at 40, why couldn't I? (Please don't crush my dream by mentioning the fact that she'd already been in 4 Olympic games before Bejing).

Our little girl is growing up and we're trying to enjoy every minute of it. She told me this morning (after eating a snack with a blanket over her head), " I left silliness behind when I was 5 years old. Sick-year-olds are not silly. (Pause...much giggling) I said SICK-year-olds!"

Yesterday Ellie told me she packed "just the essentials" into this bag. I couldn't wait til she went to sleep to sneak into her room, grab the bag and find out what was in it. "The essentials" includes: Pink Baby and a blanket, a pink pony, sunglasses, a doll vest, $6 of birthday money, and some stained glass crafts from her cousins. I can see how she wouldn't want to be without those things!

We love you, Miss Ellie. Will you please stay 6 forever?

If you're happy and you know it...

2010-09-29T16:09:00.002-06:00

One of Ethan's favorite songs. What a cute boy!

Six Years Old

2010-09-28T11:00:00.002-06:00

Today our Ellie is six years old. We've been teasing her the way my parents used to tease me (and, at the time, I swore I'd never do to my own children).

Us: Ellie, your birthday is coming up! How exciting!

Ellie: Yep! I'll be six!

Us: Sick? Oh, I hope you're not sick on your 5th birthday. That would be sad!

Ellie: No, I'll be SIX!

Us: I sure hope not! It would be so awful to be sick on such an important day. You only turn 5 once...

She only thinks its funny for a little while.

I can't believe my girl is so big!

This is how I want to remember her at this age: giggling over one of her favorite knock-knock jokes (the one she's told me for the 1000th time, but it's still hilarious to her).

She's growing unto a beautiful, helpful, loving, silly, smart (and learning to be more patient) girl.

Her list of favorites, as of today:

Favorite color: Pink

Favorite thing to do: color

Favorite book: Magic Tree House

Favorite move: Matilda

Favorite treat: Popsicle

Favorite toy: doll house

Favorite snack: cookie

Favorite subject in school: math

What do you want to be when you grow up: "Just a Mom"

Favorite restaurant: Sweet Tomatoes

Favorite thing to do outside: Play in the sandbox/ Ride bike

Coziest thing you can think of: my bed

Happiest thing you can think of: cousins

Fanciest thing you can think of: fancy scarves

Favorite thing to do with mom: read

Favorite thing to do with dad: go on hikes

Favorite thing to do with Ethan: color

Favorite food: egg salad sandwiches

We love you, Ellie!

This is the Place--Fieldtrip Friday

2010-09-08T13:50:00.002-06:00

One of our new favorite additions to our schedule is Fieldtrip Friday. I have a huge list of places to go (most of them in the Salt Lake valley, and most of them FREE) as part of our homeschool adventure. We've decided to check one off the list every week by having a fieldtrip every Friday. Our first trip was to This Is The Place Heritage Park. Jason's mom took us and we were able to see Mindy, Jane and Alice there as well. They have been volunteering there all summer, and we are so glad we got to see them on their last day!

Mindy and the kids get to dress up in cute period clothes and spend most of their time in the Charles Rich Home. As soon as Ellie saw Jane she started asking where we could go to get her pioneer outfit. Mindy was nice enough to let Ellie borrow her bonnet.

Plowing is hard work!

We visited the school house and Ellie learned how to write her name in the Deseret Alphabet.

We were lucky enough to go on a pretty un-crowded day and we thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't get pictures of everything, we also got to: ride a train (3 times!), pan for gold, trade our gold for treats at the bank, do leather work and make a dreamcatcher, and visit with a mountain man. Not bad!

We came home to make our traditional Friday night pizza and Ethan really wanted to "help". I guess he was a little hungry after our busy day. Every time I turned around he'd be picking off chunks of the pizza. If he wasn't so dang cute...

Sandbox

2010-09-06T15:06:00.001-06:00

We've been busy lately, adjusting to life, homeschooling and working on various projects. Almost immediately after returning from Canada, Jason got to work on building a long-awaited sandbox. It's huge (3' by 20') and the kids love it. Not only have our kids played in it almost every day for the past few weeks, but neighborhood friends have been getting in on the sand fun, too. Which is exactly what we had in mind!

Here's Ellie (aka Laura Ingalls) in her pioneer dress-ups from Grandma and Grandpa Great, making "flour".

You wouldn't believe the amount of sand I wash off this kid every day. I literally had to stick his head under the kitchen faucet this afternoon because every time he turned his head sand would come cascading out of his hair. Needless to say, he loves it out there, too.

Waterton, Alberta

2010-08-21T13:28:00.005-06:00

For one day on our Glacier trip we crossed the border into Alberta, Canada. What an amzingly beautiful area! Nikki has been there before with her soccer team so she showed us all the good places to visit.

First we made a stop in Cardston to see the LDS Temple there.

Then on to Waterton where we did a hike called the Bear's Hump to a spectacular view.

My cute Dad. It just wouldn't be camping if he didn't have that hat. Dad cooked all the food for the days we were together. Can't beat a camping trip with your own chef!

When we're hiking we're happy! Except for sometimes at the end when it gets really steep, then Ellie's not so happy. But getting to the top for a pretzel snack brings back her happy face.

If you want to get into Ethan's good graces compliment him on his hiking shoes. He adores them and wears them every day. It's a struggle to get them off for naps and bedtime. He calls them "Cool Shoes". And they really hurt when he tromps on your toes, as he does to me constantly throughout the day. (Once we got home we gave Ethan a much-needed haircut. He's not looking quite so scraggly now).

After our hike we had a picnic lunch and (guess what?) threw rocks in the water. I submit that we change the popular saying "like father, like son" to "like father, like son, like grandpa".

Like Father...

Jason brought a sling shot and "the boys" (mostly Jason and Mark, but sometimes they let the kids join in) played with it in various locations throughout the trip.

Like son...

like Grandpa.

My Dad brought some slings to chuck rocks with. It went really well aside from one incident that went exactly like this:

David, Heidi and Nikki were standing nearby watching Dad sling rocks (maybe a little too closely).

David: Dad's a really good rock flinger

Heidi: Yeah, until he kills one of us

(2 second pause)

David: Ow! Ow! Ow!

(hopping around and holding his shin where he'd just been hit by a rock)

Dad (unworried): Oops...sorry.

Luckily the injuries were not significant, just a bruise. But we all stepped back a little after that.

Katie and Ethan got to be good friends. Thanks to Katie for picking Glacier. What a great trip!

Glacier, Cont.

2010-08-21T12:58:00.004-06:00

We went on a few hikes in Glacier. We love hikes for several reasons, but this is one of the best:

How often do I get to hold Ethan while he's sleeping? NEVER. There is nothing better than a completely-exhausted-from-playing-so-hard toddler asleep on your shoulder. It is one of my favorite places to be.

Lindsay and Nikki.

Guess what Ethan's doing...yep, throwing rocks in the water.

Phoenix using Ellie's hiking stick. Ethan calls him "Fifi" and has been asking for him every day since we got home. "Uh oh! Where Fifi?" I guess after 6 days together Ethan assumed Phoenix would be spending every day with us.

One of the major themes of our trip was parkour. Of course, we're not quite as good as the guys in the video. But it's definitely hilarious to pretend like we are.

Lindsay with some awesome parkour action.

Ethan and Ellie got pretty into parkour, too. Ethan yells "Ah-coh!" (parkour) as he does all sorts of amazing tricks, like the one above.

David

Lake McDonald. We made Ellie and Cougar reinact a photo from our last graduation trip (Lindsay's trip to the San Juan islands 4 years ago).

Nikki and Ellie.

My cute Mama planning our next adventure. Thanks, Mom for putting together such a wonderful trip!

Glacier National Park-- the first 2 days

2010-08-21T12:28:00.006-06:00

For my sister Katie's high school graduation trip, my parents took us to Glacier National Park. Since we feel like we've had enough long driving days recently to last us a couple of years, we decided to leave a day early rather than drive all 10+ hours in one day. The first night we camped at Clark Canyon Reservoir near Dillon, Montana.

We camped right near the water and Jason found a great spot to scavenge some driftwood for our fire.

Ellie and Pink Baby waiting for the perfect mallow roasting coals.

Ethan and Teddy enjoying some warm milk.

The next morning Ellie found a piece of driftwood that she turned into her violin.

Of course Ethan needed a turn too.

We enjoyed a laid back morning exploring our campsite and the local area (pausing to throw rocks in the water often) and the rest of the family met us there for lunch. We continued the rest of the way to Glacier that afternoon.

Ethan had a breakdown during the last hour or so of the trip and Katie did a fantastic job of keeping him entertained. He wanted a "hat" like Ellie and loved listening to Katie's tunes.

Mmmm...hot chocolate.

Glacier has some of the most breathtaking scenery I've ever seen.

Ellie and Cougar became Junior Rangers the first full day we were in the park. As usual, Ellie was too terrified to repeat the Junior Ranger Pledge, but they gave her the badge anyway. She wore it proudly.

Ethan spent quite a lot of the trip in this exact spot, driving his cars back and forth on the picnic table bench. He added the rocks for a more realistic driving experience, I assume.

Ellie, David and Cougar in their "sitting trees".

This post is getting long, so I think I'll break it up some. Stay tuned for more Glacier fun!

Pineview

2010-08-19T08:54:00.002-06:00

Earlier this month we were invited to spend the day at Pineview Reservoir with Jason's parents and some of their neighborhood friends. We drove up with Mindy and her 3 little ones. Ellie and Ethan had a blast playing in the sand and water all day, and having cousins and grandparents there made it twice as nice!

All worn out and ready for a snack...

They made friends with some kids that were camped nearby and played with this giant log for a long time. They'd take turns giving each other rides.

After much deliberation, Ellie decided to try riding the tube. One of the Hillman's friends cute teenage daughters (did you catch that?) rode with her.

As they rode S-L-O-W-L-Y along, Ellie decided she loved it! Major breakthrough!

Aside from Ethan screaming for most of the 90 minute drive home, it was a lovely day.

Book List

2010-08-04T21:58:00.002-06:00

At book club this evening someone brought up this list. I have been looking for ways to celebrate my upcoming 30th birthday (in January of 2012) and love the idea of reading 30 of the most influential/important/best written books of all time. However, I don't necessarily agree that all of the books on the list deserve to be there. So I decided to create my own list and I'm looking for suggestions.

What book (or books) would you include?

Doughnut Falls

2010-08-02T12:18:00.003-06:00

Here are some pictures from our Doughnut Falls hike a couple of Sundays ago. According to Jason this is not the Doughnut Falls he remembers from when he was a kid. We know we started out at the right trail head, but is it possible we took a wrong turn somewhere along the way? Can anyone verify that this is Doughnut Falls?

Either way, it was a beautiful hike and managed to turn our grumpy kids back into the happy ones we like much better. Worth it in my book!

Island Park

2010-08-02T11:44:00.005-06:00

We spent a long weekend at Island Park (near Yellowstone) with the Hillmans. It was a fantastic vacation; very laid-back with plenty of time to catch up after our time away. We spent a couple of days in Yellowstone where we saw Old Faithful,

went on a few short hikes and enjoyed the beauty of the area.

This is one of my all-time favorite views. The Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone is simply amazing.

Grandma and Grandpa Hillman treated us all to ice cream one hot afternoon. Ethan found the perfect place to enjoy it: right in front of a fan. He happily slurped his cone and followed the fan as it rotated back and forth.

Scott and Darcy. I cannot get enough of her grin!

The kids enjoyed plenty of cousin time:

Jack and Ethan couldn't turn around long enough for a picture, they were much too busy throwing rocks!

Jack, Ellie and Jane doing their bear impressions.

Silly cousins on the hike to Mesa Falls.

We were all thrilled to watch Ellie and Jane run around together (happily!) during a sudden rainstorm that kept us from our campfire. When these girls are happy together (which is getting to be more and more often lately, yay!) they are SO fun!

I loved listening to the conversations and singing that went on in the back of our car when these three rode together. Funny kids!

Ellie and Darcy.

It was such a nice weekend! A nice way to transition between hotel life and being real people again. My favorite part was visiting with the other adults after the kids went to bed. We rarely have uninterrupted time to talk, and it was such a treat to be able to have a full conversation without needing to wipe sticky hands, change a diaper, feed a baby or put someone in time-out!

Thanks for a wonderful time!

Iowa

2010-08-02T11:09:00.004-06:00

On our way home from Cambridge we spent a day in Spencer, Iowa with my grandparents. It's been too long since we were able to see them-- they'd never meet Ethan in person-- so it was really nice to have the chance to visit.

They took us to see Lake Okoboji and the kids had a blast playing in the sand and water.

I even got to save Ethan from drowning at least twice. If he's this fearless at less than 2 years old, should I be concerned for when he's a teenager?

Grandpa took Ellie for a ride on his "Jazzy". She loved it, and Ethan acted like he wanted a ride but chickened out at the last second.

My aunt Judy and her granddaughter, Joy joined us for dinner and some more sightseeing.

We hardly saw Ellie all afternoon/evening since she and Joy hit it off so well. They rode together in different cars when we went from place to place. Grandma and Grandpa took us to see several of my ancestors' graves, and Ellie and Joy had a grand time looking at all the different headstones and wandering the cemeteries together.

This headstone is hard to read, but it is the original spelling of my maiden name: Kindelsperyer. No wonder my high school friends just stuck with "Glockenspiel"!

We visited the park where my great-great grandpa's homestead was on the Little Sioux river.

Grandma and Grandpa have 4 dogs, and Ethan loved to go outside and see them. He liked Bitsy the best because she was the only one who would hold still and let him pet her.

Aunt Nancy and my cousin Aaron joined us for the evening as well. We finished of the day with an impromptu concert from Ellie. She insisted on playing nearly every song she knows on the violin and we thank everyone for being so patient.

We loved every minute of the time we spent in Spencer. Hopefully we can make it back during the Clay County Fair sometime soon. My grandparents are award-winning canners, and we'd love to see them in action.

We love you!

Friends

2010-07-24T21:33:00.004-06:00

Since we've been back from Canada, I've had a few people ask me what my favorite part of the trip was. We were able to see a lot of amazing places and learn about a different country. I loved that our family was able to spend so much time together and the strength we gained from that. The time off from heavy cooking/cleaning duties was really nice. But what I most enjoyed was the people. We were able to become close to three families in particular that we just fell in love with.

We were able to spend quite a bit of time with the Vargheses. They stayed in our hotel for a lot of the time we were there and were fantastic neighbors. Tell me you're not smitten with Baby Philip already! He (and his parents, of course) was so fun to be around. Ethan said, "Baby?" every time we saw them and Ellie loved to "help" Gretchen take care of him. Thanks for your patience, guys!

Philip and Matthew at Riverside Park.

We met the Mushka's in our Cambridge ward. Tia is an extremely talented artist and made my Canada trip souvenir (I'll post a picture of that when we hang it).

The Mushka's have kids right around Ellie's and Ethan's ages and invited us over to their house to play a few times while we were there. It seemed like such a luxury to have a backyard for kids to play in! One of our last nights in Cambridge they invited us over for our first ever Make Your Own Sushi night. I loved it (though I was pretty conservative with my ingredients and didn't include anything raw)! Ellie and Jason were adventurous and tried it but were not as enthusiastic as I was. It's not for everyone, I suppose.

They came to our hotel to say goodbye on our last day. The kids all had room to jump on Ellie's king-sized bed for one last hurrah.

Jamie, Erin and Kate stayed in our hotel for several weeks while their home was having some renovations done. They live less than a mile from the hotel, so we were still able to see them often after they left. Ellie and Kate played together really well and Ethan was always extremely excited to see Kate, too. After a while they started giving hugs and kisses when it was time to go.

We were able to do a little hiking with Erin and Kate and went to story time at the local library with them, and Gretchen and Philip, several times.

How blessed we were to meet such amazing people! And how grateful I am for technology so we can easily keep in touch!

Home again, home again

2010-07-20T13:46:00.002-06:00

We're back! We made the 35+ hour drive, visited Iowa, had a 4 day vacation in Yellowstone and finally arrived at our house last night. I have a plethora of pictures to post and fun things to write about. But for now I'm remembering how to go grocery shopping and clean a house, tackling yard work, laundry, organizing for a yard sale, waiting for our camera to arrive in the mail (we left it in a hotel in Sheridan, WY...oops.) getting ready to start homeschooling in the fall and the list goes on.

I'll fill you in when I get a second to breathe. Don't hold your breath!

Toronto Temple

2010-07-12T20:09:00.004-06:00

We visited the Toronto LDS temple on our last Sunday in Canada. This week marks the anniversary of Ethan's adoption and sealing, and what a fitting way to celebrate!

Ellie insisted on pretending that Jason and I were getting married. She took a bunch of pictures of us smooching on a bench by the temple. I'll spare you those!

This photo cracks me up. I love that Ethan seems to be checking Ellie's face to make sure he's smiling correctly.

The temple is gorgeous, and we are so glad we could spend some time on the grounds together. Ethan even learned how to say temple: "Tempo! Tempo!"